About Me

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Blogging about things that matter to me. Photographing things I love - Instagram @debcyork. Writing about both. Only wine and chocolate can save us… You can also find me on Twitter (@debcyork) and Facebook. If you like four-legged views, try @missbonniedog on Twitter

Friday, 11 August 2017

The Power

A while back, I posted a picture on Instagram of a book chosen by my book group.  It was The Power by Naomi Alderman.  I didn't make it to that group discussion unfortunately but I brought the book on holiday with me and ever since I picked it up, I have been reading frantically.

It tells of a future where women hold the reigns of power in the world.  Where this is normal.  Where men are assumed to be the softer sex.  And of how the world may have become that way.  I won't go into the story - it would spoil it for you.  I am not a book blogger and I am unused to writing reviews.

But occasionally on this blog, I have recommended books and I cannot recommend this one highly enough.  It is a hard read in some places, with descriptions of violence both sexual and otherwise.  But then you remember that in describing the women's violence against men, the author is simply describing the violence perpetrated against thousands of women on a daily basis in our own world.  And suddenly you wonder why we read or watch so many reports of such treatment without being angrier.  It has become commonplace to hear of rape, sexual slavery or women being trafficked.

I wrote, at around the time of Trump assuming power in the US, of the need to stay angry.  For us not to allow the women's marches and protests of that time to fade away.  This book should be read by all women - and preferably men as well.  Not as a vision of what a matriarchal world should be.  But as a call to continue the protest in our own time. 

We are living in a world where Trump can still be elected - and even worshipped by many - despite his distain (far too polite a word) for the female fifty percent of the population.  We are living in a world where an immensely successful female singer can be groped in a public place and then have to go to court to clear her own name (an experience shared by thousands of women of course).  We are living in a world where women are still routinely denied the capacity to choose when to be pregnant.  And so on, ad infinitum.

Read The Power if you have the opportunity.  And then think about what needs to be done now.

[If you can't get the book, look it up on The Writes of Woman.  There is an excellent synopsis plus an interview with Naomi Alderman.  The book won the Bailey's Women's Prize for Fiction 2017 in June.]


Monday, 24 July 2017

Summer Is Here

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My social media streams are full of parents bemoaning the start of the the school holidays.  Don't get me wrong, I have joined in with this despite looking forward to the end of term.  And it doesn't get any easier as they get older.  You move from needing to entertain them all day every day to them not wanting you around but at the same time, somehow, being unable to let you get on with your own stuff.  For example, I have just done my last solo supermarket trip for a while.  Yes, we can all have everything delivered these days but I quite like to mooch and decide on meals, whilst listening to Audible on my phone.  Goodbye to all that.  For the teen and pre-teen, a supermarket trip is a multi opportunity.  Fleece mum for stuff they don't need, persuade her to buy unsuitable food they don't need.  And to try to kill each other in the aisles, using trolley/bare hands.  Ending with the embarrassing mum at the checkout in whatever way comes to mind.

The same goes for writing undisturbed at home.  Despite a notice on my 'office' (for which read dumping ground) door, my two claim the right to enter and whitter at me whenever they like.  They never do this to their father when he works at home, I might add.  I wondered if he is fiercer but I suspect they just know which side their financial bread is buttered on.  

So, I will only be posting sporadically for the next few weeks.  I know I only post once a week but I do like it to be current and - if you can believe this - give the matter some thought (!).  And my ability to do this during the holidays has previously not been good.  Although this year, both of my children are far more keen on sleeping in than previously whilst I still have to get up for the dog!

I wish you a happy summer, with or without children in the mix.  I will still be posting regularly on Instagram @debcyork and Twitter, again @debcyork.

For the dog's take on the summer, follow @missbonniedog on Twitter!

Monday, 17 July 2017

Persist and resist

As any regular readers will know (if there are any!), I didn't post last week.  I just couldn't seem to summon any energy.  As the summer approached, I had begun to feel I was running on empty.

But then I saw a post by Alan Cumming on Instagram (@alancummingsnaps).  It was in relation to the recent Pride events but his post talked of all the struggles going in the world at the moment.  The racism, sexism, religious intolerance.  Here is a little of what he said:

We live in scary times.  It's hard to maintain the level of outrage with so many outrageous things happening daily, hourly, and the fight can seem exhausting.  the other day a wise woman posited that 'persist' is as important, if not more, than 'resist' as a mantra.

This really strikes a chord with me.  And not just for persistence in the political and social struggles.  I have struggled for many years with depression.  Relatively low level but enough to cause me periods of real difficulty.  I know far better now when these are upon me but it can be hard to regain the upper hand.

But when you hear about the everyday struggles that so many people are dealing with, you feel bad for not coping better with your own somewhat cushy existence.  For example, in The Times magazine on Saturday (15 July), there was a piece about the Fitzmaurice family.  The headline was My husband can only communicate with his eyes, via a computer.  If that doesn't put teenaged tantrums, constant clearing up woes and general 'being fed up' into context, I don't know what will.  Ruth Fitzmaurice has a husband with Motor Neurone Disease and five children under twelve.  (I will definitely be reading her book I Found My Tribe.)

Persistance is something which we often forget we have.  We in the developed world often have such comfortable existences that when we see refugees on the oceans, people displaced in war zones,  people dealing with extreme poverty or illness, it is hard to believe that we ourselves could ever survive such ordeals.  We wonder aloud at the resilience of others.

Because the need for persistence and resilience has been taken away.  We don't have to hunt or gather.  Our problems are of a different nature.  But we, as humans, do have the resilience.  If pushed, we would all do whatever it took to survive for the longest possible time.  Our ancestors performed miracles with a lot less creature comforts around them.

So how about we channel some of that dormant persistence and resilience into continuing the fight for a better world.  And for myself, I will also be channelling some of that into feeling better and into counting my blessings a bit more often (even whilst arguing with the teen and the tween!).

Monday, 3 July 2017

Ping Off

Recently I saw a Tweet about  'app-piety'.  It has stuck with me.

Appxiety (n): sense of dread you feel when you reach for your phone in the morning to see if some horrendous news has happened overnight. (@StigAbell)

This weekend, I was camping with my family and my phone died on Saturday afternoon. I didn't bother trying to charge it until I got home last night.

It was less than twenty four hours but it was lovely. I regret not being able to take photos on the rather windy beach yesterday but other than that, it was a blessed relief.


Generally I like social media. As previously blogged, I have, for example, been learning to use Instagram properly. And I love Tweeting as my dog! (Long story, loads of people all over the world do it so I don't feel like a complete solo nutter (well not much). 'Twitfur' is a hilarious place, I assure you...)


But in a world with so many stresses, I have realised that I need, at the least, to turn off the pinging notifications which come seemingly from every app unless you actively seek out how to stop them. The BBC News app theme tune was beginning to strike dread into me. And I was becoming a bit too interested in how many 'Likes' I had for my Instagram posts.


So many awful things have happened recently. And continue to happen. Bombs, fires, wars, to say nothing of the endless political and social problems in more and more countries. It's not that I don't care. I hope you can tell from browsing my blog posts that I do care. Many things matter to me - probably too much! - and I try to be consistent in my views. It's just that I think we are all suffering from the twenty four news cycle. If you have more than one news source on your phone (as recommended in a previous post, I do admit), you get the same information many times over when it is perceived as important breaking news.  


Clearly we do want/need to know about matters of national importance. But I can't help thinking sometimes that the days when everyone listened to the news at six or at ten but had little access to bang-up-to-date news at other hours must have been quite restful.

Or maybe our ancestors would say they would have loved to have had more news at their fingertips. Imagine how much more of a scandal Henry VIII would have been if his doings were available on a gossip app. Or how different the Home Front would have felt during the Second World War if people could have watched battles live, Tweeted about the Blitz or Facetimed their evacuated children.

We are of our time, I suppose. Our descendants will be laughing at how slow our news cycle is, most likely! But at the moment we all need a break from the ping. A break from the reality of our world at large in order to live in the moment.

This summer, let's switch our phones off at the beach or the park or on a hike. Let's take cameras for photos and compasses for directions. Check your phone at six in the evening while you are on holiday. And turn off those pings so they are not stacking up when you do switch on!


[Excuse the language below but I believe it sums up a lot! And should wish to Tweet my dog, she (for it is her) can be found at @missbonniedog]



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Monday, 26 June 2017

A Normal Family

I really don't know where Monday has gone this week and I don't like to not post anything.  So I would recommend reading a current article from The Guardian as it says quite a lot that I agree with and would have mused on further if I had not been too frantic to sit and get it onto the screen!  Click on the link to see the article.

Zoe Williams is writing about Prince Harry's wish to either not be royal or to have the royal family altered substantially.  I think the debate also makes you wonder what constitutes a modern family these days, whether you are royal or not.  We camped at the weekend with eight other families.  All long term couples but not all married.  One divorce amongst us and sadly one spousal death too.  Children ranging from seventeen to five, all with different outlooks and abilities.  But we all consider ourselves fairly normal.  Mainly, I think, because we are relatively like-minded.  Our normal is not 'normal' for others though.

I am sure Prince Harry would not consider being on benefits or queueing to use NHS facilities as what he would want from 'normal' for a start....

Normal blog 'service' resumes next week!


Monday, 19 June 2017

Kensington Revolution


This week we have been dealing, in the UK, with the awful tragedy of the Grenfell Tower fire.  I send my heartfelt sympathies to all who have been affected in Kensington and huge admiration to all who have helped in the rescue effort and the continuing aftermath.  

If you look online, there are hundreds of articles and reports and comment pieces about this appalling event.  Many have excellent insights and background information.  I won't mention anything particular but following last week's post about getting out of our informations 'bubbles', I would highly recommend reading press and comment from all sides of the political spectrum.

Interestingly, none have attempted to deny that lack of funding is a major cause of the situation on such estates.  (And even the most virulent Right wing papers appear to have slightly toned down their anti immigrant rhetoric, given the backgrounds of many of those who have died or been affected.)

Back in April I wrote a blog post called Doing The Numbers in which I looked at the huge money amounts which are bandied about when referring to football, films etc whilst we in the UK are constantly being told that money for hospitals, schools and housing is not available.

I argued that we are not a poor nation and that lack of funding for services is a political choice not a necessity.  Tragically, events like this tower block inferno bear this out in graphic detail.  Underfunded hospitals and emergency services are left trying to rescue some of society's poorest people from underfunded and clearly dangerous housing.

There is no excuse in a country like ours for money not to be spent where it is needed.  Our health  and social services, schools and emergency workers are looking after all of us in some way.  Only a tiny percentage of the population have a private GP for example.  No-one, to my knowledge, has a private ambulance, fire service or police force on private 24/7 standby.  And even if you could prove that you never touch public services in anyway (impossible but hey, give it a go if you have the money.  Good luck with rubbish collection, using the roads, etc.) who do you think looks after and educates all the people who you rely on to serve you, clean for you, blah  blah.

It took until 1918 for even most of our male ancestors to get the vote to say nothing of the women.  Austerity is a political choice which has been forced upon us.  It is not a necessity.  Hopefully the Grenfell Tower will begin a chain of events which will result in people finally understanding this.  We should not just accept what we are told.  The increase in the young vote was heartening earlier this month.  We need to keep that momentum. 

Kensington Popular Front*, anyone?

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*with apologies to Citizen Smith fans!

Monday, 12 June 2017

Democracy In Action

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I had looked at the UK exit polls in disbelief before I went to bed on Thursday night and was amazed by the result on Friday.  I won't witter on about it.  But I would like to say how bizarre our British electoral system is.  To see such a massive change in Labour's fortunes and still be so far away in terms of seats in Parliament is, well, absurd to put it politely.  Yet it is so much better than feared, I can't bring myself to moan too much about even that.  I had feared we would not have a change of government again until my eldest was old enough to vote!

Anyway, at the weekend I attended the Democracy Focus Day at York Festival of Ideas.  It had been planned well in advance of the General Election being called but of course could not have been more timely.  They already even had the [now re-elected] York Central MP Rachel Maskell on a guest panel.  Impressively, she still made it.

The first session was fascinating and involved threats to democracy.  It was terrifying.  The ways in which modern warfare now includes use of social media and so on to shut down protest or to stir it up.  The Russian takeover of Ukraine was used for many examples.  But Trump and his ilk also figured, as did the possible breakdown of the EU.  (Comment if you would like more details.)

The second session was centred more specifically on how social media influences democracy.  And much of it was very close to things which I have mused on in blog posts over the last twelve months. 

So I would like to share with you a 'Post-Truth Survival Kit' from the keynote speech by David Patrikarakos, a writer for The Daily Beast and Politico amongst others.  He referred, as I have, to our increasing tendency to be in a news bubble.  Surrounding ourselves with news and views from people who we are generally in agreement with.  And having this reinforced by social media like Facebook which start to push more of things which they have noticed you already Like.  This is David's advice:

1)  Go out of your way to friend of follow people that don't necessarily agree with your worldview.

2)  Go directly to the websites of trusted news sources - or better still, buy the newspaper itself.  Read all its reporting.  Don't cherry pick articles with a slant that appeals to your pre-existing beliefs.

3)  Read articles from publications whose political views you DON'T agree with.

4)  Read books.

5)  Mistrust the mob.

6)  Log off!!!

How do we get more people to follow this advice?  It is hard to engage with those we disagree with, even if it is just reading.   But actively engaging brings the fear of trolling and abuse.  We must be brave though.  Social media played larger part in last week's election than ever before.  And as another panel member said, it is just the beginning.  It is not going away.  It will just get more sophisticated.  We must make it work for us.  

(And by the way, when I advise you to 'Log off!!!', I mean after you have read my blog and checked my Instagram obviously...)




Monday, 5 June 2017

For The Many Not The Few

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This weekend we have once again, in the UK, seen the best and the worst of humankind.  Another appalling attack but amazing stories from those who helped with the aftermath.  Along with a wonderful concert organised by Ariana Grande to benefit those hit by the previous attack, just twelve days before.  It is hard to find the words to describe how this rollercoaster of events makes us feel, isn't it?  

We want to know what happened during the attacks but we are scared and upset by the media coverage.  We enjoy the concert but feel dreadful about the reasons it has been put on and guilty that so many will not have seen it because they've lost their lives.  We know that those who carry out the attacks must feel angry and desperate in order to do such things but we cannot condone their methods.  We want to be tolerant of all religions and sections of society.  But it is difficult not to be fearful of what might happen next.

And on top of that, we have to vote in an election this week.  An election which has been called on the back of another kind of huge division within our country.  With an electoral system which does not make most of us feel that our votes count.

I believe we must still very definitely vote for the benefit of the many and not just the few, though.  We must not vote for a party which will destroy our health, social care and education systems just because they might appear to talk tougher about security in the wake of the recent tragic incidents.

These hideous attacks are carried out by the very few and they affect relatively few (although that is not to in any way lessen the awful suffering, I know).  The emergency services are already stretched by such incidents.  What will it be like if the NHS has been allow to crumble and we are still dealing with such events?  And how will we begin to talk to the coming generation of disenfranchised and frustrated young men and women who will carry out future attacks if they cannot receive decent education, social support?  To say nothing of the funding needed for community policing - not just firearms.

Now, more than ever, we need a cohesive and supportive society.  One which benefits as many of us as possible.  It is ordinary people who are bearing the brunt of the attacks, it is state-funded services which are dealing with the aftermath.

I sometimes include an element of family history in my blog posts.  This is not one of them.  But it is, once again, about the world our descendants will face.  And we must take that responsibility seriously.


Monday, 29 May 2017

Holiday Freedom

I am not writing a full post today as I am in London with my children.  But in the light of the awful events in Manchester a week ago, I wanted to reiterate what I wrote on Instagram last week.  

We will not be defeated by people who are so far in the minority that they can only perform cowardly acts like  the Manchester bomb in order to be noticed.

I did think twice about our trip to London.  But only fleetingly, in a 'I have to do the best for my kids' kind of a way.  The parents of those children who were killed last week have set an amazing example.  We have to carry on.   Carry on as if these evil people do not exist as far as we possible can.

Yesterday we were in Covent Garden, we went to School of Rock, we went to the Sky Gardens.  Today we will be at the O2.  And as we trooped out of School of Rock in particular, still singing the songs, I thought of the excited concert goers last week.

But continuing to live our lives, with enjoyment, is a proper (insert your own rude hand gesture) to the terrorists.

Enjoy the Bank Holiday if you are in the UK.  But wherever you are, go to your waited-for events.  Be it concerts, festivals, marathons, theatres, parks,whatever.  In free societies, this is what we do.

Monday, 22 May 2017

The Services Demographic

So I had planned to whitter on about the 'dementia tax' in this post.  And now this morning there has been a U-turn apparently.  

I am not surprised the U-turn as come on the care side.  At university in the early Nineties, I earned my beer money working on political surveys to analyse the membership demographics of the Conservative and Labour. parties  It was a slog of a job because there was no technology for looking at the answers.  So big thick surveys were posted out and then we all worked to code the answers by hand, reading each and every returned book.  Various work came out of the projects but the main one about the Tories was a book called True Blues by Paul Whiteley, Patrick Seyd and Jeremy Richardson.  My memory of the work is largely composed of continual amazement at the great age of most of the Tory members.  Crabbed handwriting became our speciality.

And I don't think their demographic has really changed all that much.  I don't propose to analyse the reasons for that - it is far too complicated for this little blog post.  But I was amazed at the arrogance of the announcements last week.  It really felt like the Tories were so over-confident of winning the election, they were prepared to finally say what they really though about social care, school dinners, etc.  No tiptoeing required anymore.  And no numbers to back anything up.  Just 'this is how it is'.

For a key part of their core support though, care for the elderly is a huge issue - be it for themselves or for relatives who are already struggling to provide care.  Free school dinners are also one of the few benefits which are not means tested.  No matter how much tax you do or don't pay, your children are entitled to the meals. 

Whilst I entirely agree with the arguments by Jamie Oliver and others about the future saving to the NHS from keeping our children healthy, I don't believe there will be a U-turn on school dinners.  They don't want the NHS to be saved.  They want it to creak slowly to its knees so they can say it is no longer fit for purpose.  Neither will there be a change on university tuition fees.  Because the Tories see no electoral benefit to themselves.  They let the Liberals fall on that sword.

What needs to happen in these last weeks of campaigning, aside from encouraging people to actually use their votes?  Well, I think we need to be talking about how policies will actually affect people.  You may be safe for now from a 'dementia tax'.  But you are only safe while the Prime Minister has taken it off the table in order to get your vote.  Clearly, policy work has been done on this issue and a large Conservative majority will mean they could bring all sorts of things out of the cupboard in the next five years.  

Voted Conservative all your life?  Well, during most of this electorate's lifetime, there has been an NHS, social care, public funded education.  Think about your life without those things.  Your grandchildren losing free meals, your own future care uncertain, the NHS unavailable as you age.  Your children working until they are seventy.  Your grandchildren stressing about having to get into grammar school.  Starts to look a bit different doesn't it?  The last massive Tory majority privatised anything they could get their hands on.  Now they want to get their hands on the last bastions of the post war consensus.

This is not about True Blue or True Red.   This election is about the future of our services.  It is not too late to make that decision.